Love Is Letting Go

3 Feb

This isn’t what I planned to write for my next post. Who am I kidding? I didn’t have a plan. You know how to make G*d laugh, right? Make a plan.

I’m having a yard sale tomorrow. I have been getting rid of things that I no longer fit into, or use, or need or want. It’s a great feeling to let stuff go. Clutter in the house makes my head feel cluttered. I feel peaceful when my surroundings are clutter-free. I’m not a pack-rat or hoarder, but I’m a natural clutter-bug so I have to work at it. 

I’ve been to enough yard-sales and estate sales after an elder has died and the family is left to sort through 60+years of household goods and dust-collecting tchotkes and old bath-robes and salad spinners. 

I love my children so I don’t want to leave them with a house and garage full of crap to sort through, struggling with holding on to things as a way to remember or honor me. 

Today I’ve been pulling things out of the garage for tomorrow. I was almost done. The box of old baseballs and bats, a dry, empty fishtank, a lawn-mower and a bicycle are in the driveway ready for their new owners to claim them. There was one box remaining, labeled “photos and memories”. I thought it was a box of my things, from my youth.

I lifted the lid and saw that these were my moms’ things.

Back in 2009 when my mom died instantly at home alone one beautiful morning much like today, I did what I needed to do as the need arose. That meant cleaning out her apartment quickly so it could be re-rented, sorting through her things to give away, boxing pictures and memories and storing them in my garage. 

Life went on as it does. I continued to work and take care of my son. I sat on the couch a lot and thought. I retreated into a quiet world for the better part of two years.

Last year or the year before, I gradually starting going through some of her things that I had stored here at my house. I went slowly, only went I felt like it. There wasn’t much, as she had very lovingly gone through all of her stuff before she died so she wouldn’t leave me with a bunch of crap to sort through. She loved me very much.

This last box contains small, framed photos of me, her grandchildren, a six-year old’s hand print in plaster and small books about a mother’s love.

I opened a book I had given her years ago. This is what I wrote inside;

To my mother~ you are my inspiration and comfort.

I am the echo of your heartbeat.

We are mother and daughter from my birth, but friends forever.

Love and kisses.

Lo

 

Love is letting go…on many levels, all at the same time, over and over and over…

 Image

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8 Responses to “Love Is Letting Go”

  1. sharon mayberry February 4, 2012 at 4:23 am #

    I cried.

    • lauraelizabethlove February 4, 2012 at 4:38 am #

      I wish I could sit with you and we could have a good little cry together. I’m sending you a big thank you and an even bigger long-distance hug. ❤

  2. Annalaura February 7, 2012 at 5:00 am #

    K what u wrote to ur mom is a hallmark card hands down… And u are a great blogger I love ur first two posts awesome!!! 😀 and I totally teared up right now.. I love u and this is great 🙂

    • lauraelizabethlove February 9, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

      thank you sweetie for checking me out. I love you and YOU are great!

  3. Melanie Bush February 8, 2012 at 3:42 am #

    Wow!

    • lauraelizabethlove February 9, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

      thanks for reading Mel! sending you and Jobu long-distance hugs.xoxox Lolo

  4. Cynthia Tasker February 19, 2012 at 8:22 pm #

    I was thinking about your mom the other day, and thought about calling you. I didn’t though, not wanting to force your thoughts in a direction of my choosing if you weren’t in a place to think about her at that time. I am always an ear for you to talk about your mom, good or bad. I loved both your parents very much and I will always have fond memories of them. I work at letting go of stuff all the time. Mostly the crap I store in my head that does me absolutely no good to hold onto, but sometimes amongst our crap we find a jewel like the box you found. I have a few items I hold onto of my dad and every once in a rare while I come across something of his I have saved and I am grateful for the memory of him. These little items would be junk to everyone else, but they are treasure to me. I agree that letting go of “our stuff” is an amazing gift to give ourselves and our children, just don’ t get rid of anything that years from now when they come across it, will be a treasured memory of their beautiful, insightful, and talented mother. Love you more than my new computer!! Through sick and sin, Cindy.

    • lauraelizabethlove February 21, 2012 at 9:46 pm #

      Call me next time!!! it’s nice to think of my mom running through your mind…

      sroo sick an’ sin mon amie!!!

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